“I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size zero.” Sophia Loren

I have struggled with my weight all my life. I was a foot taller than most kids in elementary school, most people thought I was held back, even though I was actually one of the younger kids in class. My parents were told I would probably be close to 6 ft, LOL, I stopped growing when I was 9 and I’m barley 5’3. Since the age of 10 I have struggled with my weight, my parents were overweight for most of my childhood, pizza night consisted of two large pizzas, one for my parents one for me and my brother. I hated working out, running anything physical where I would sweat and physical activity was not really pushed, I walked a lot with my mom, I did play some youth sports, basketball and cheerleading for a short time, but by the time I hit high school I wasn’t really doing anything for physical activity.

In my early 20’s I hit my heaviest weight, 226 lbs, I was miserable, all the time. I had a boyfriend who once said “I love you, no matter how big you are, but you’re not happy, and that’s something only you can change.” Even to this day I still think of those words and though I took it to heart and made more of an effort, I still struggled.

By the summer of 2011, I had lost about 40-50 lbs and was feeling more confident, I still wasn’t really working hard though to lose or maintain my weight and that summer brought a lot of parties and booze (no regrets however, still the best summer of my life).

I was around 180 by the time I made the move to SD and walking started to play a big part of my weight loss. When I first moved I didn’t have anything, money, car or job. I would walk an extra mile to the bus stop so I didn’t have to transfer buses and spend more money. I walked everywhere, exploring the city, looking for work. I went 7 years with out a car, and honestly, I some times regret getting one (but it is a necessity). I would walk 30 mins to or from work sometimes, depending on the bus schedule, plus I was a server so I was getting in a lot of steps, my thighs were getting smaller and I was seeing results.

After about 3 months we moved into a spot that had a gym onsite, I finally got off my fat ass and started going to the gym. I didn’t want to be in the same spot when the rommates came home from their gym session. Jenny (my best friend/roommate/soul sister who you will get to know more later) and I also started working out together. I have been a huge Jillian Michaels fan since forever, so I got Jenny hooked on her workout videos and we would have gym sessions in our living room. I finally had real motivation and someone who would push me to keep going, I became addicted (I also realized that deep down I am a fat kid at heart, I love food, I love to eat, but in order to eat what I want, I have to work twice as hard as my friend) and I hate dieting. I failed Weight Watchers several times. No no, I will not sacrifice my dessert or carne asada nachos in order to be thinner. I took up running, weight lifting, joined a boxing gym, did HIIT training and of course yoga.

I finally reached my goal weight in 2016, and I actually got down to 140 in 2017, the smallest I had ever been in my life! I was a size 4, I no longer needed to wear a bra, which I was happy and sad about. I went from a DD (and I loved my big boobs) to wearing a bralette which was so freeing!

Then, I saw the picture on the right of myself and I actually thought, “whoa, you are too thin.” Again, I liked having some curves, some fullness to my cheeks (both sets)!

I figured it would take it easy and gain a little weight back and then just maintain it, I had figured out my physical abilites, my diet was on point. I could easliey get back up to 150 and maintain. But life is tricky and full of highs and lows….

2020. WFT!!! I think I started the year back at 170, by the end of summer I was at 180. I busted my ass for six years to get down to 140, and in half that I had put it all back on. And I loved getting weighed at the doctors, the nurses (bless their hearts) were so reassuring, “Everyone has put on a few pounds this year with all the stress.” Ehhh, yea ok, I can say maybe 5 lbs came out of 2020, however, this was years of bad decisions, lack of routine, no self control, not walking (getting a car), a bunch of tiny things that seem small at the time but all add up to me being back where I started 10 years ago. UUUGGHH.

The great thing that did come out of 2020 (there were a few) was that it did give me time to really think about my passion, and what really made me happy, overall, mentally. emotionally and physically. And the truth is, I am happiest when I am sweaty and working my ass off. When I go for long runs or lifting weights. I love challenging myself and pushing myself to keep going, I never in my life thought I would utter the words “I love burpees” or “I’m going to go for a run”. That girl in the first picture would never!

I’m hoping my weight loss struggles help someone else, someone who just wants to be healthy, who loves to eat, but wants to make better decisions. I still refuse to diet but I am very conscience of my eating habits. I know that I have to work out a little harder than others in order to eat the way I want too and that’s fine with me. I’ll do 50 burpees, just don’t ask me to turn down dessert.

When I reached my goal weight in 2017, I had wished I kept better track of my overall diet and workouts, now seems like the best time to make that happen. I would love to share links to videos I do on YouTube as well as videos of myself putting in the work, to hopefully inspire others.

Physical fitness is important not just to be thin or skinny, but to be strong, mentally and physically. It’s about taking control of your overall wellness, taking the time to fine tune your engine, we only get one body, we must maintain it just like any other vehicle that we rely on. There are so many varieties of workouts out there, the key is finding what works for you, what keeps you motivated to want to keep going back for more.

So tell me about your journey, I’d love to hear your struggles, your accomplishments, your goals. What are your favorite ways to workout? What food do you refuse to give up? What is a workout you want to try but maybe are a little intimidated about?